can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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