Redeem this text for a blowjob
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
