I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
