my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
