Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
