I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
