Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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