Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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