I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
