just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
