Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
