Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
