THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
