I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
