Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize