If that was your dad, he is hot
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I AM VODKA MAN
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
