I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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