I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
