I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
