dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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