Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
