never play flip cup with pint glasses
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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