I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
