one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
