the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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