South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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