i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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