Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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