Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You are a genius and a whore.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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