How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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