he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
