areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
