I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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