I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
