I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
When are your genitals available?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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