Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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