This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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