is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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