Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
