i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the day after is always just damage control
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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