I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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