Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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