Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
