That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
