in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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