Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
