so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
