so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
