If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
