I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she peed on how many people?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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